Over the last two weeks, God has been exposing in me a lot of areas where I still have fears, where I still worry unnecessarily, where I don't trust myself... or Him... as much as I need to. When we give all our imperfections and insecurities to Him, He can take them and make them fruitful, make them glorious, make them beautiful, and we can express who we truly are. Who we were created to be!
I will write sooo much more on that and how God's been orchestrating my life the past week soon, but here's what's on my heart today:
The concerto competition!! The finals are tonight. But to tell you the truth, I'm not nervous. This morning I had my dress rehearsal on stage, and it was simply fun. I felt joy and honor to be able to play in that grand auditorium. I pondered why I wasn't nervous. ...I've played in lots of solo contests before, I am prepared...
... But you know what it truly is that keeps the nerves away? My life doesn't depend on it.
My worth doesn't depend on my success in this competition.
I am not a more valuable person if I win the competition. I am not less of a person if I don't.
Either way I'll still be a person, an imperfect person with gifts and talents, sins and flaws, ...
... But still a beloved daughter of the King,
Jesus.
Our worth is in the Lord. What a comfort! How freeing! He made us each in His glorious and perfect image, formed us in our mother's wombs, knows our names and every hair on our heads, chose us from the beginning of time, and loves us enough to send His Son to die for our imperfections and raise us to new life, to endless second chances to obey Him and live a worthy life. Whenever we stumble, Jesus is there holding out His hand to pick us up again!
We are loved and chosen not because of what we do, but in spite of it!
We can't do anything good enough to earn God's approval, but He gives it out freely, and if you believe in Jesus, there is nothing that can make God love you less!!
So may tonight be a night of using the gift of music that God gave me to glorify His Beautiful Name and express the joy of my soul because He already saved me and lovingly blesses us! No reason to be nervous. Whether I fail or hit every note, God already wrote my name in heaven. I surrender and want Him to sing through me tonight so that every person in the audience may not see my performance but God's beauty and love shining out to them!!
...
Now to keep establishing that kind of confidence in teaching too ;) ...
Until next time! May Jesus be praised tonight and always through ALL of our music!!! Good luck to all nine finalists! God bless!
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