Becoming Fearless… Part II: Losing the need to impress

“For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.”

 

 – 1 Thessalonians 2:4

 

I like encouragement.  Words of Affirmation is one of my strongest love languages.  It warms my heart when I can encourage others and when others encourage me.

No big deal, right?  What’s wrong with that?

Nothing, really… until it becomes an addiction.

If you hang on someone’s every word and only find your worth and contentment when someone else approves of you or your performance.  When the only cure to your insecurity is found in pleasing people.  When your happiness depends on others’ acceptance.

In the music major world, this can become difficult when much of your curriculum is based on performing and listening to the praise and constructive criticism of your listeners.

I have slowly gotten better at this over the last three years in college in terms of my clarinet performing.  Even if I have a bad day or week or month, I know that I am still a musician, and I don’t need others to reassure me that I am.

But … lately I’ve been feeding on the approval for my teaching.  I have not had a ton of experience teaching in the past or a whole lot of feedback on my work, so when I do get lots of encouragement, I accept it joyfully (which is good, I think) but I also spend too much time dwelling on it.  In the same way, some of my friends have had good days when a professor likes their playing and felt defeated when the instructor disapproves.  I’ve been there.  But should we really place the weight of our day on what someone else thinks?  What about what we think?  Or what God thinks?

“Can I lose my need impress?
If you want the truth I need to confess…

I’m not alright, I’m broken inside

And all I go through, it leads me to You” – Sanctus Real (I’m Not Alright)

(Here’s the rest of the song, if you’re interested):

"If weakness is a wound that no one wants to speak of
Then "cool" is just how far we have to fall
I am not immune, I only want to be loved
But I feel safe behind the firewall

Burn away the pride
Bring me to my weakness
Until everything I hide behind is gone
And when I'm open wide with nothing left to cling to
Only you are there to lead me on.

Honestly, I'm not that strong…
I'm not alright... that's why I need you."

When we let go of the overwhelming desire for a person’s approval, we are free to have joy and peace every day; peace and joy that are not dependent on circumstances.  True joy that is found only in our perfect Lord.

           

“I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.”

 – John 16:22b

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do

not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will

have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

Through the perfect sacrifice of Jesus for all our sins, today and yesterday and tomorrow and forever, we always have the approval of God.  Not based on what we did or didn’t do, but freely by His gift of new life through the cross, we are made right with God, approved for eternal life with Him!  Even though our best efforts of trying to succeed in life may never be enough for some people’s standards, win or lose we are loved and approved by God, because of His eternal goodness!  :)

And if we have the approval of God, why should we fear what man might say to us???

Wow, I found this exact phrase in Scripture three times – must be important or something!  :)

“In my anguish I cried to the Lord, and he answered by setting me free.  The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?” – Psalm 118:5-6

“Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’  So we say with confidence, ‘The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?” – Hebrews 13:5-6

“In God I trust; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?” – Psalm 56:11

The message is clear.  God is helping us and worthy of our trust.  He is always with us and fighting on our side.  Even when we mess up, He will pick us back up if we trust in Him.  (“What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? – Romans 8:31)  :)  We never have to be afraid or worry about earning someone’s approval, because if we give our all and do our best, even if we never win or never have enough to give, God always loves us and approves of us.  How amazing!  Now to Trust that ever-present Truth and live life fully, humbly but confidently (like in teaching!) and be thankful when others approve, but truly secure in God’s heart and not relying on worldly success.

“Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1:10

--- We don’t want our own insecurity or fear or obsession with people’s acceptance to get in the way of our ministry for the Lord either.

Serve and love Him freely because He first loved us.

I hope all this Scripture speaks for itself.  Live it.  You won’t regret it.  :)

Psalm 57:7  “My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.”