When I don't understand...

Sometimes I find God's ways difficult to understand.

My little "sheep" brain can't always handle it all, I don't think.  In John 10, Jesus compares us to sheep and calls Himself "the good shepherd."  Sheep are not very smart, but they do have one crucial thing right:  they listen to their shepherd's voice and follow it undoubtedly.

If we could succeed in that, I think our lives would be a lot more on track with the great lives God designed for us to live.

As I read through Numbers, my eyes caught on chapter 33, as God's people were about to enter the land He promised to give them  Here's an excerpt, from verses 50-56:

"On the plains of Moab by the Jordan across from Jericho the Lord said to Moses [the leader], 'Speak to the Israelites [God's people] and say to them:  'When you cross the Jordan [River] into Canaan [the promised land], drive out all the inhabitants of the land before you.  Destroy all their carved images and their cast idols, and demolish all their high places.  Take possession of the land and settle in it, for I have given you the land to possess.  Distribute the land by lot, according to your clans.  To a larger group give a larger inheritance, and to a smaller group a smaller one.  Whatever falls to them by lot will be theirs. Distribute it according to your ancestral tribes.  But if you do not drive out he inhabitants of the land, those you allow to remain will become bards in your eyes and thorns in your sides.  They will give you trouble in the land where you will live.  And then I will do to you what I plan to do to them.'"          -Numbers 33:50-56


This passage rubbed me the wrong way a little.  Why would God want to destroy all the other people?  He loves all people.  I read the follow commentaries in my NIV Study Bible, and they offered a little more insight:

Numbers 33:50-53

"God told Moses that before the Israelites settled in the promised land they should drive out the wicked inhabitants and destroy their idols.  In Colossians 3, Paul encourages us to live as Christians in the same manner:  throwing away our old way of living and moving ahead into our new life of obedience to God and faith in Jesus Christ.  Like the Israelites moving into the promised land, we can destroy the wickedness in our lives or we can settle down and live with it.  To move in and possess the new life, we must drive out the sinful thoughts and practices to make room for the new."

33:50-56

"Why were the Israelites told to destroy the people living in Canaan?  God had several compelling reasons for giving this command:  (1) God was stamping out the wickedness of an extremely sinful nation.  The Canaanites brought on their own punishment.  Idol worship expressed their deepest evil desires.  It ultimately led to the worship of Satan and the total rejection of God.  (2) God was using Moses and Israel to judge Canaan for its sins in fulfillment of the prophecy in Genesis 9:25.  (3) God wanted to remove all trace of pagan beliefs and practices from the land.  He did not want His people to mix or compromise with idolatry in any way.  The Israelites did not fully understand God's reasons, and they did not carry out His command.  This eventually led them to compromise and corruption.  In all areas of life, we should obey God's Word without question because we knows He is just, even if we cannot fully understand His overall purposes."

33:55

"If you don't do the job right the first time, it often becomes much more difficult to accomplish.   God warned that if the Israelites did not drive the wicked inhabitants out of the promised land, later these people would become a source of great irritation.  That is exactly what happened.  Just as the Israelites were hesitant to clear out all the wicked people, we are sometimes hesitant to clear out all the sin in our lives, either because we are afraid of it (as the Israelites feared the giants), or because it seems harmless and attractive (as sexual sin seemed).  But Hebrews 12:1, 2 tells us to throw off 'the sin that so easily entangles' us.  We all have 'idols' we don't want to let go of (a bad habit, an unhealthy relationship, a certain lifestyle).  It we allow these idols to dominate us, they will cause serious problems later."

Yeeep.

I encourage you to meditate on those explanations.  I found them to be helpful.

I am still digging into the Old Testament and seeking what I can learn about God's character from it.  He is the same God for all time, even before Jesus is alive in the New Testament.  (Heb. 13:8)

Here are a few things I believe Jesus has been teaching me lately -  In the OT, the people experienced deep spiritual truths in very visible, physical ways (as the above commentaries mention).  Wickedness was embodied in other nations, and that needed to be destroyed.  Now today, we experience these battles in our hearts, and we need to take them seriously.  God does.  We all have some area of our hearts that belong to wickedness or idolatry [desiring something not of God above our need for Him], and we need to take that to God to wash it away and instead fill it with His goodness.

Also, I am remembering Jesus' humanity.  He is the Creator God in heaven, to be revered on high, but He was also a human like you and me... "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are, yet was without sin."  Hebrews 4:15.  He has SOOOO much love and grace for us, even when we are still in the midst of failing, because He knows exactly what we are going through.  He felt the pangs of all of life's temptations, yet never gave in to them.  Then He experienced the ultimate example- When He hung on the cross, all the sins of the world, including the past, present and future, including the sins of Adam and Eve all the way to the sins of you and me, and those of our future children and grandchildren down the road.  He experienced the guilt and regret and separation from God that He never deserved, but He took on for us, so we wouldn't have to live with those awful consequences to our eternity and to our relationship with God.

"He make Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God."

- 2 Corinthians 5:21

Now, our sin and guilt has already been paid for, so Jesus simply longs for us to come back to Him from our brokenness and be comforted by Him.  Ah!  :)  How amazing.

But anyway, back to the passages--  we all have some wickedness or sin in our lives that needs to stop and needs to be forgiven.  Maybe it's as simple as your obsession with perfectionism and worry, when God already has your life in His hands, or maybe it's as severe as stealing or adultery.  All sin is sin, and we all need a Savior.

Here's the hard part:  if we choose to let go of our evil desires or our past regrets and live the way God designed for us to, it WILL be way better.  That's a promise!  Maybe we won't feel how it's "better" today or tomorrow, but down the road, we will!  I firmly believe that.

And I love this ---- God is the Creator.  The Artist.  The Potter, who made us.  So think about it:  Who knows each crevice and meaning of a work of art better than the Artist himself?  GOD KNOWS OUR OWN HEARTS AND DESIRES AND NEEDS BETTER THAN WE KNOW THEM OURSELVES.  That blows my mind --- so if I think I really really really need something to work out this way ... God might have a way better idea!  Like going to grad school in New Mexico.  I never would have come up with that, but I totally love it now!  God knew better!  Or the guys I wanted to date in high school and felt let down when nothing ended up happening?  I praise God now that it didn't -- He was saving me for something better.  We can't always understand God's ways.  But I trust Him.  The consequences of not obeying God are much worse than holding back because we don't agree with Him.

Trust God.  Lead your heart.  Don't just live for temporary desires if they'll leave you empty later because you disobeyed God.  He knows what's best for us and what will really fulfill us.  Even when we don't understand fully.

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known." - 1 Corinthians 13:12.

Or like Hawk Nelson's new song "Faithful" --

"You never promised me that this would be easy
I never knew that anything could be this hard
I wanna trust that You know what You're doin'
But right now, I'm just fallin' apart
It's hard to see it when I'm livin' in the moment
But Your love's still written on my heart
I get lost when I feel the wind blowin'
I gotta cling to who You are
'Cause You are good
Even when You're not understood
No matter how many skies fall down
I'm covered under the peace I've found
You're my shelter when there's nowhere else to go
No matter how many times I break
You promise always to keep me safe
You're my rescue when I'm spinning outta control
You are faithful, faithful
You are faithful, faithful
I'm leaving doubt and sorrow in the distance
I'm gonna trust, and cast my fears aside
My life's a work that I know You'll finish
I know I'm gonna be alright
It's You I'll chase
Even when I can't see Your face..."

Fix your eyes on Jesus this week as we approach Holy Week!  I need to!!  His Presence is more lasting, satisfying, peaceful, loving, joyful - than anything else ever!  Even in the hard times, You'll have inner strength.  Ah I want to quote five million verses right now ... Heb. 12:1-2, Phil. 4:13, Phil. 4:7, 2 Tim. 1:7, Heb. 4:14-16, John 16:33, John 14:27, Gal. 5:22-23...  Even when you don't feel better in the moment ... like when you really desire something sinful and have to hold back ... believe me, it will be worth it.  Trust your Artist, the One who knows you best!  :)  He WON'T fail you!!

"Whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." -John 4:14

"Then Jesus declared, 'I am the bread of life.  He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty.'" -John 6:35